Peanut Butter and Purple Onions

Sounds crazy until you try it.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

Can I Interest You in a Doorstop?


So this would've been my St. Patrick's Day post, if Blogger hadn't eaten it -- approximately twenty-three times. Anyway.

When traveling in rural Ireland last year, we ate a lot of simple food -- potatoes, of course, but also lamb stew, beef braised in Guinness, and thick upright-spoon-supporting soups. And with everything came baskets of thinly-sliced brown bread, dense but sweet, perfect for sopping up juices and gravy. Loved it. Ate a LOT of it. Hadn't been able to replicate it.

So when the latest issue of Saveur (which I am soooo not renewing) included an Irish brown bread recipe, I thought, hey, BNA! This is your next project. Go forth, and bake.

So I did. I thought ten cups of whole wheat flour sounded like an awful lot, and heaped in my mixing bowl, it certainly looked like an awful lot, but I am nothing if not a faithful recipe adherent.

I was prepared for a certain denseness. This is not supposed to be a light and fluffy loaf, after all, and it only rises once. But, dude. These loaves were so dense, they bent light -- the wheat version of a black hole, if you will.

Ok, maybe it was me, but still. I'm not publishing the recipe -- I don't want it propogating and I don't want to be liable if someone accidentally drops a slice and smashes a toe. The real stuff is too good to besmirch.

11 Comments:

  • At 8:03 PM, Blogger karina said…

    Oh goddess. Too funny [not funny ha ha.] ;-) I have baked many a doorstop myself [especially gluten-free doorstops].

    Maybe you can process it into crumbs? And add herbs and garlic and olive oil for a toasty bread crumb topping? I'm thinking...baked mac & cheese?

     
  • At 11:15 PM, Anonymous tami said…

    oh my...i am laughing out loud so hard over here. great post :)

     
  • At 2:26 PM, Blogger BNA said…

    Karina, you're an inspiration. Baked mac & cheese is always the right answer -- and surely those loaves aren't good for any other food function. Although I'm a little frightened at the prospect of a showdown between Bread and Food Processor...

    Hiya Tami -- glad it made you laugh! I got quite a few giggles out of it myself.

     
  • At 10:40 PM, Anonymous Rorie said…

    So funny, I can't stand it! Your posts always make me smile.

     
  • At 11:04 PM, Blogger Kalyn said…

    I admire anyone who even tries to make bread from scratch, so not to worry.

     
  • At 6:31 PM, Blogger Laurie said…

    I love it when people write about their not-so-great dishes - makes me feel so much better!

     
  • At 1:46 PM, Anonymous Tania said…

    Oh dear.

    I, too, have come across the odd recipe that just doesn't seem right as I'm making it. I've stuck to it, too, thinking it will somehow work its magic in the oven. Invariably, it doesn't. Which, of course, leaves me with nothing to do but shriek "Don't they test these things??"

    Great post, though. Thanks for sharing!

     
  • At 8:47 PM, Blogger BNA said…

    Thanks, Rorie! That's definitely my goal.

    Awww, thanks Kalyn...but I bet you'd be pretty good at it yourself.

    It helps, doesn't it, Laurie? We have to keep a sense of humor about it all.

    Hi Tania! Supposedly this is a recipe of impressive lineage, so I don't really know what went wrong...maybe it's Irish magic.

     
  • At 1:36 PM, Blogger shuna fish lydon said…

    What I thought was strange was the inclusion of yeast in a quick bread. But good for you for trying to make it! Indeed.

     
  • At 5:20 PM, Blogger BNA said…

    Welcome, Shuna! btw, I'm glad you list The Phantom Tollbooth as one of your favorite books -- such a good read. Although I must admit I didn't get the "Canby" play-on-words until I was in high school.

    Ahem. You're so right -- it seemed like a strange combination of quick bread and yeast bread elements. I just don't get it.

     
  • At 6:46 PM, Anonymous vanessa said…

    oy, that is a monster loaf. anything that requires 10 cups of whole wheat flour is just wrong. do you think Irish peasant had that much grain to spare? please...

     

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