Peanut Butter and Purple Onions

Sounds crazy until you try it.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Spice Road

I keep a jar of cayenne on my desk at work. (I make a point of never being without a source of culinary heat. For a while, in my college days, I kept a bottle of hot sauce in my car's glove compartment. Until someone pointed out the merits of refrigeration to me. Anyway.) It's a relatively old jar, I guess -- from a supermarket in Los Angeles, where I haven't lived in some time. (Don't worry, I've changed the cayenne itself. I go through this stuff like I go through Diet Dr. Pepper.)

I love my job, but because I have the attention span of an adolescent chipmunk, sometimes my mind wanders. The other day, desperate for distraction but unable to go online without whiling away the entire afternoon (in addition to no attention span, I have no self-discipline), I picked up my longtime cayenne companion and read the label. It amused me to no end.

"Cayenne is widely used to add zest in many Mexican and meat dishes."

I might've used "to" instead of "in," but whatever. I also would've expected some mention of spice or heat. "Zest" for "heat" seems a little deceptive. But again, whatever. Here's the part that amuses me, because I am demented:

"It is often found in sausages, sauces, cheese dishes and spreads."

I love this. The passive voice here -- I picture the cayenne materializing in sausage, all on its own, the spontaneous generation of zesty goodness. And who is doing the finding? An intrepid team of nameless wurst consumers? "Zounds! We've struck cayenne, men! Our work is done!"

It's a lot of amusement to derive from a spice label, but, desperate times, you know.


  • At 5:47 AM, Blogger kitchenmage said…

    picture a spelunker in a headlighted hardhat brandishing a pickaxe and holding a red rock up to a flickering lantern and gasping in excitement...

    welcome to blogging, i feel like i discovered something all shiny new and a red rock in a mine, perhaps?

    and let me just say to all the folks who visit the farm and especially Clare that I was here very, very, very first ever! Before any of you knew about this spicy new blog or anything, so take that! sticks out tongue impudently See how much good all that rushing to be the first person to make it to Farmgirl's does? Hah!

  • At 9:43 AM, Blogger BNA said…

    Thanks for the welcome, Kitchenmage! When I saw I had my first comment, I have to admit, I sort of shrieked. Luckily I have a very understanding officemate.

  • At 9:02 PM, Blogger farmgirl said…

    Hi bna,
    Don't buy kitchenmage's spelunking analogy. Please! You can see through that. She is just trying to be first. Ha! You wait. You'll like us better. Promise.

    Welcome to the CRAZY world of food blogging! : )

    P.S. I can 100% guarantee that won't be the last time you shriek. Two days ago I applauded at my computer screen. LOL the entire time of course. Sure hope laughing is allowed at your office. : )

  • At 9:09 PM, Blogger kitchenmage said…

    hey FG, what is this "Us" of which you sepak? off your meds again? LOL

    BNA, FG and I actually love each other so ignore the sisterly competition...she'll be better as soon as she figures out I wasn't trying to be first, I was BEING first! sticks tongue out at FG Next thing you know she'll be back here with a sheep or something. Because she's baaaaaad like that. snicker

  • At 12:07 PM, Blogger BNA said…

    Wow, I'm behind on reading the comments on this post! Must remember to read in reverse chronological order...but, again, welcome, Farmgirl!

    Luckily I'm able to placate my patient officemate with baked goods and soup. So far she continues to tolerate my squeaks with remarkable grace.

    And I'm all for sisterly banter. If I can ever get Devorit to post something, you will all see our own brand of same...

  • At 9:26 PM, Anonymous courtney said…

    Ahem, ahem... the ladies at Naughty Curry are not to be completely outdone. We love kinky juxtapositions, so your title is a vortex to our attentions. And then, we can't very well see a post with "spice" in the title and remain silent.
    Finally, we dig your writing style, your DDP fetish, your smirk at semantics.
    Pleased to make your acquaintance.

  • At 2:07 PM, Blogger BNA said…

    Well hello, Courtney -- you're making me blush! Welcome. And now I'm off to spend the rest of the afternoon exploring Naughty Curry...I mean, working. Yeah. Working.


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